Somehow

Somehow I know there’s no winning
Just fights
Continuous and futile
Losing battles
Inside and outside
Just no winning

Somehow it feels like I keep losing ground
Like I’m giving more ground than I take
Taking more beatings than I should
Giving up more than is healthy
Pushing against something that picks me up and moves me
So far back I’m behind myself
It’s too late to stop while I’m ahead
That time has passed

Somehow I think giving up is my option
Walking away, conceding defeat
Throwing in the towel
Dropping gloves to the floor and letting go
Of everything

But somehow I keep going
Keep pushing and resisting
Standing and surviving
And somehow the fact that I survive means I don’t need to quit
That maybe the fight is in a circle
That maybe lost ground actually gets me closer to my goal
But in the other direction
Maybe I’m winning but looking at it the wrong way
Maybe there is some winning after all
Maybe I’ll get there, somewhere, wherever it is
Somehow

Feb 5, 2009

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