she swallows

her  pride

her will

her heart

she swallows

hard

his power

his rule with

iron fist

and lashing tongue

harsher than any whip

he beats her down

to nothing

till nothing

and no one

can save her

till she exhibits the proper behavior

till she fears him

more

than she can love

till her love

is the lie

that keeps her

afraid each day he’ll leave her

though she should leave

for a breather

at least.

he shaves and shears

at her humanity

he scathes and scares

her closer to insanity

removed her from all things familiar,

nothing of herself

he let her save

reprogrammed her mindset

and how she behaved

made her depend

so she couldn’t leave

any spark of free will

he had up his sleeve

some reason

some trick

some barrier

to her success

he wore the pants

and she was his mistress

or missus

or mrs.

however you please

he had her in distress

down on her knees

she was his “partner”

but she had to beg

to let him allow her

stretch out her legs

and learn how to walk again

remember how to talk again

to live

to love

to be

he says “i love you”

with hate in his eyes

he had a rough childhood

but that’s just his guise

to make her swallow

hard

his power

his rule with

iron fist

and lashing tongue

harsher than any whip

she is much stronger

than he lets her believe

if he hurts her much longer

she’ll have to leave

or her heart will be rendered useless

to their kin

she’s already broken

he’s underneath her skin

she hurts

so she hurts

it’s a cycle she must break

it’s only a matter

of how much more she can take

and how long she can swallow

hard

his power

his rule with

iron fist

and lashing tongue

harsher than any whip

she prays daily

asking for this cup to pass

plays joyous homemaker

should any choose to ask

no bruises

no scars

from the hurt well placed

in locations where the pain

isn’t easily erased

buttons get bigger

easier pressed

waiting for the day

she is laid to rest

and all that remains is his will

in her body

where she just lies still

and swallows

hard

his power

his rule with

iron fist

and lashing tongue

harsher than any whip

when she breaks free

there is no if

her esteem will be

her greatest gift

and her legacy will say

she released her hate

and she left him to be

someone truly great

even if only

in the life of her son

for it is in his name

this battle must be won

for he should not learn to swallow

hard

his father’s power

and his rule with

iron fist

and lashing tongue

harsher than any whip

but

learn how to walk again

remember how to talk again

to live

to love

to be.

(c) 2009 L. Ashwood

4 thoughts on “she swallows

  1. Oh my God… Why I did not know this until now… It made my heart beat harder and faster and reached me all the way down… I was feeling every and each word and I wanted to scream each word out loud… The best!

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